Can dating be platonic? Let’s talk about it!
Who needs dates and relationships if they don't involve sex? How common is platonic dating? Let's explore these topics in our article so we can better understand people's relationships.
What are platonic relationships?
A platonic relationship is one in which there are no sexual or, in some cases, even romantic interactions. What is it about? There is affection or even love between two (or more) people, but only on an emotional level and not because of any physical attraction.
Pure dating — anything but boring!
How is it different from friendships?
Even though there doesn't seem to be much of a difference, platonic views imply a greater exclusivity, involvement in a person's life, and tact. Hugs and kisses, Valentine's Day presents, and surprises like a weekend getaway can all be part of a platonic relationship. See, friendship is a bit different. Let’s learn who opts for this kind of dating.
Asexuals
Even if asexuals do not seek sex, they need intimacy as much as anyone else
Asexuality is an officially recognized sexual orientation. Approximately 15% of Americans born between 1980 and 1990 have never had sex, according to a 2016 study by the American University of San Diego. So, even in large countries, asexuals are a big part of the community.
Sex is not a necessity for asexuals. But just like anyone else, intimacy is. Asexual people want to share their lives with others, find people who share their interests, have fun, and even have children (they can do that without having sex). All in all, they do engage in most of the stages of (platonic) dating.
Learn more from the world's sexiest asexual here
Demisexuals
A demisexual may have sex once a year, which is considered normal
For demisexuals, sex is possible but not necessary. Also, they do not have sex without a deep emotional attachment. So it makes sense that with such a person, there will be no sex on the first date. And on the second. It is better to count on the following year. This is perfectly normal, as everyone has the right to choose when and under what conditions they are interested in sexual contact. Demisexuals can have sex once a year or every five years - it doesn't make their lives and relationships "incomplete." They, too, go to restaurants, drink lavender raff, watch Netflix, go on vacations together - and love.
Sex is a choice but not a necessity for demisexuals. They never have sex without a strong emotional bond. So it kind of makes sense that there won't be any sexual activity on the first date before getting to know their date better. Have patience and plan for the next year. Everyone must have the freedom to decide when and under what circumstances they want to have sex, so this is entirely normal. Demisexuals can engage in sex on a yearly or even five-year cycle, but doing so doesn’t make their relationships "incomplete." Along with dining out, drinking lattes, binge-watching Netflix, and taking trips together, they also fall in love and date.
Aromantics
Aromantics can date without sex for a while, though it’s unlikely without common hobbies
Aromanticism is considered a separate sexual orientation with its own Pride flag. Moreover, in 2017, American singer-songwriter Moses Samney released an album titled Aromanticism.
Aromanticism is also a spectrum: from the absence of any attraction, the partial absence of sexual and romantic, or the absence of only romantic, but with the presence of sexual attraction. A study by Canadian scientists showed that about 1% of aromantics are asexual. They don't want to start having sex right away, and they might not even be that interested in sex unless it's virtual. Often, they can spend a lot of time together without ever making physical contact, but without common interests, it is impossible to start a relationship with them.
On the subject
- Nearly 13 million people on the planet identify as asexual;
- A black-gray-white-purple rainbow serves as the asexual and demisexual community's Pride flag;
- The Asexual Visibility and Education Network claims that aromanticists have their own unique definition of love called "squish."
- Although platonic, aromantic relationships are closer than friendship.
Recently single
Going on a date is not the same as having sex. Try to understand your needs
When we have just gone through a breakup, even a not-so-dramatic one, we often want to take a break. Only some people are ready to jump into bed with a new partner right away. Sometimes the pause can be prolonged, as it is necessary to find a suitable psychologist to deal with their new life and make new plans. There's nothing wrong with that: going on a date does not equal having sex. Platonic meetings will help you understand what you need now and what categorically not. To rush into this issue is a predictable failure.
We frequently want to take a break after a breakup, even if it wasn't too dramatic. Not everyone is prepared to get into bed with a new partner immediately. The break can occasionally last longer, as many choose to consult a qualified psychologist to go on with life and make plans or changes when needed. And even if you decide to go out, going on a date is not the same as having sex. Choosing a platonic approach will give you more time to figure out what you really want. Take your time!
The ones focusing on themselves
We frequently comply with the desires and expectations imposed by others, so it is crucial to find time to understand who you really are
Richard Gere's character in "The Runaway Bride" humiliates Julia Roberts' character for not knowing whether she likes a fried egg, an omelet, or a poached egg. A lot of people adhere to the opinions and desires of other people. Vacationing wherever someone suggests, selecting a partner their mother would approve of, etc. It's easy to get lost and understand what are genuinely your desires and which were imposed by society. Spend some time with yourself, and you might find out how you do like your eggs.
According to neuroscientists Augie Ogas and Cy Gaddam's book, A Billion Wicked Thoughts (which relies on data from the Dogpile database), determining your preferences in bed is difficult, especially for women, and our complex nervous systems are to blame. Many people would prefer to have sexual relations only after figuring out what they really want.
