5 Red flags you might be mistaking for green flags
There are numerous things that appear as green flags in a relationship that might actually not be as green as they seem. Supposed green flags can sometimes turn out to be major red flags in disguise that you need to be aware of. Let's take a look at some of them now, so you know what to look out for.
1. One-Sided Conversations
It can seem great to have someone who wants to listen to everything that you have to say, but sometimes someone who only listens to your stories and never has anything to contribute might be a major red flag in your relationship. One-sided conversations are a sign that your partner is either not really listening, or simply doesn’t want to develop a deeper connection.
It might be useful to use area guides to find some local stores and gift shops to visit with your partner. This could give you some inspiration on where to go to spice things up when spending time together. Hopefully this leads to you both getting lost in conversations where you can develop a stronger bond with each other.
2. You are Showered with Compliments from Your Partner all the time
Come on! Getting compliments from someone is something that basically all of us want in our lives. There is no problem with getting compliments from someone that you like or someone you are trying to develop a relationship with - in fact it's a great thing. However, getting showered with compliments constantly by someone who barely knows you is definitely a red flag.
Why are they reaching out to you with excessive amounts of kind words all the time when they don't know you that well?
You deserve to get great and genuine compliments from the people in your life that you have close bonds with - but when it feels like harassment it's time to speak up. You shouldn't shut down all compliments from those that you care about, but you should take caution when someone new is complimenting you excessively - make sure they don't have other motives for expressing such kind words.
3. Moving Too Fast
There are some people who want to move a relationship to the next level and it seems the natural thing to do when things are going great. However, when a partner is trying to move your relationship faster and further than you feel comfortable with, then there is something wrong that needs to be addressed.
You deserve to move at a pace that is comfortable for you. If your partner is moving faster than you would like, then you need to express those feelings to them and let them know that you would prefer to take things a little slower. Understand that you have every right to slow things down or even bring your relationship to an end if you would like to. You are in control!
4. Your Partner Brags About You on Social Media Immediately
Getting praise on social media from someone who loves you is a great thing, but you don't want a partner that is going over the top and immediately praising and posting you from the start. The reality is that if your partner is moving too fast and posting about you on social media from the very beginning, then there is a chance that he or she is simply looking at you as something to brag about to their friends and family.
You might feel good about it in the moment, but the chances are that your partner is leveraging their relationship with you to get praise from others in your life.
You need to make sure that you don't get overly upset with your partner about this, but simply address it with them to let them know that you would prefer to keep some of the praise off of social media for the time being. There may be a time and place when it makes sense to allow them to do so again, but you can certainly ask that they stop doing it if it makes you uncomfortable.
5. Constant Texting
It is nice to know that someone you are getting to know has an interest in you and would like to know more about your day. However, it is not so pleasant when they won't stop texting you. Not only is it annoying to have to keep answering texts from someone - but it shows a lack of respect for your time and privacy. It also means that they likely don't have anything else going on in their life aside from their relationship with you... Red flag!
Don't put yourself in a spot where you feel like you must respond to every message that a new person sends you. If they are annoying you with too many texts, gently let them know that you prefer if they give you some more space and respect your boundaries. If they get upset or don't understand why you are making this request, then it might be time to move on.
Overall, keep your emotions protected and check in with yourself to make sure you know what does and doesn’t feel good for you within any relationship. If any red flags inevitably pop up, don’t be afraid to communicate how it makes you feel. Remember you are in control and have the power to change anything that makes you unhappy.