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How to practice mindful dating

How to practice mindful dating

Katya Shaposhnikova

"Oh, there's only sex!" and "I don't believe in dating apps" — do these ring a bell? We find that people who say it frequently have no idea what they want from dating. On the contrary, those who have found their own answers to these questions engage in mindful dating. This article will cover a crucial approach that can help your online dating success.

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What does mindful dating mean?

It is a practice for those who are in tune with who they are and have recognized why they are searching. They don't date people who are obviously not right for them just to make themselves feel better or because they wonder "what if it works." They make thoughtful decisions rather than chaotically scrolling through the dating app feed. It is a waste of time to date someone who expects an orgy if you want an exclusive relationship. And vice versa: you don't need to bother the person interested in long-term relationship if you only want quick sex. Because they are self-aware and conscious of their needs, set boundaries, respect those of others, and tolerate rejection without needless self-reflection.

Pure dating — here, now with no shame!

 

Why the term came to be 

Psychoanalysts have been referring to the psychological concept of mindfulness since the late 19th century. Full Catastrophe Living, written by Massachusetts Medical School professor John Kabat-Zinn, outlined the idea of mindfulness in all aspects of life, from eating to having sex. This practical guide known for lowering stress levels and enhancing your quality of life gained popularity in the 2010s when it gradually became apparent that social media and dating apps were not making life easier for most people. Rather the complete opposite.  Dating apps stats show that users will try to date anyone if they like the photo, chasing quantity over quality in relationships. To support individuals in lowering stress levels, avoiding emotional dependence, and forging the healthiest relationships possible, the idea of mindful dating started to gain popularity over time.

Understand what you want from a relationship: Here are 6 simple steps

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How to practice mindful dating:

  • Set a target. Even if your date is as hot as an Italian pizza, don't waste time and effort on unsuitable people;
  • Visit places that interest you. You're more likely to meet a potential partner there, rather than where magazines suggest —even if it's a paleontology museum;
  • Don't misuse technology. Pure is always here to offer guidance. We’ll tell you how to deal with dating burnout, for instance.
  • Take time to listen. On a date, paying close attention to a potential partner will help you determine whether the connection is worth it;
  • Establish limits. Avoid being invasive or pushy, but also resist letting stress and pressure affect you. Dating is merely a compatibility test; take it easy.

On the subject:

  • Experts in mindfulness are often included in US insurance plans, they can help with the creation of a personalized calendar of specific conscious actions;
  • The Mindfulness app on the Apple Watch can help with meditation, schedule adherence, and breathing recovery;
  • In dietetics, the conscious approach is well-known, as it's crucial to pay attention to the body's signals;
  • The Mindfulness in Schools Project (MiSP) is an organization that supports students' mental health and stress management in Britain.
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