Tired of Dating? Signs & 5 Things You Can Do Now
We’ve all heard of emotional burnout — and unfortunately, burnout can also happen in dating. Miscommunication, blurred lines, mixed signals, dating anxiety — it's hard not to get discouraged when you encounter all of this. Emerson Karsh (@thekinkeducator) shares some useful tips on how to recognize burnout, take some time to recharge, and pick up where you left off.
What is dating burnout?
Dating burnout is experiencing exhaustion from dating, resistance to dating, negative feelings from dating, disappointment in dating, or wanting to quit dating altogether. It can look different for everybody — but the overarching feeling of dating burnout is negative feelings and exhaustion.
Reminder: dating burnout is when the feeling is consistent and feels unavoidable!
Signs you’re experiencing dating burnout
● You’re dreading going on dates
● You feel like dating has become a chore
● Dates are not bringing you happiness
● You want the date to end before it’s even started
● You’re trying to find excuses to not go on dates
● You feel like you’re pushing yourself to go on dates
How to get back out there?
We’ve all been there! Dating can be hard and exhausting! It makes us vulnerable, our nerves are running high, and we are meeting a new person. This all can be tiring!
- Take a step back from dating
We can’t cure exhaustion without rest! Take a step back from dating and give yourself time to reset. Dating while we are burnout will just continue to tire us out and make dating feel undesirable — so give dating a pause! Taking a step back is a great time to focus on yourself, your interests, what you want out of dating, and how you want to date in the future. Once you feel rested and reset, ease back into it!
- Take yourself on a date
Before getting back out there after experiencing dating burnout, take yourself out on a date and remind yourself how awesome you are and that you are whole all by yourself. Self-care is necessary and awesome! You do not need someone else to complete you — you are already complete. It may sound cheesy, but being able enjoy alone time will make cherishing time with someone else much easier. I think sometimes dating can deplete our confidence and we often forget what we love about ourselves. Take yourself out for a date to remind yourself that you are amazing and anyone you choose to be a part of your life is lucky!
- Have clear intentions in dating
The best way to avoid burnout is to be intentional with dating. The more intentional you are the more you are being true to yourself, your needs, and your interests. Be intentional with what you’re looking for, what kind of dates you want to go on, how you want to personally navigate dating, and who you’d like to go out with. Being intentional and thoughtful with your dating will make it feel less like a chore and more like something you are actively interested in doing.
- Remember about aftercare
A great way to minimize burnout while dating is to be conscious of our emotions and take care of ourselves. A great way to do this is with some aftercare. Aftercare is important after dates because it helps us regroup, reflect, and recharge. Lots of emotions and nerves can run high while on a date so aftercare helps to regulate and calm these feelings. The reflection of aftercare allows us to be mindful of the date and how we’re feeling. Lastly, dates can take up a lot of physical and mental energy so aftercare helps us recharge!
- Meet your needs
Burnout can happen if we are pushing ourselves. A great way to avoid burnout and continue having a great dating life is to listen to ourselves and our needs. Sometimes this can look like canceling that one date on a day you don’t feel up for it, or being aware of your signs of dating burnout. Listen to yourself, do what you need to do, and get back out there!
