Who has to pay on a date?
Let's get one thing straight: the word "should" is inappropriate for two adult people. But we've all heard of etiquette, which states that one person should pay. Pure investigates what kind of financial rules apply to dating.
Etiquette is outdated
It’s safe to say that we no longer do a curtsy or kiss the hands or our grandparents, when we visit them.. The custom of "the one who invites - pays" is slightly outdated as well. Perhaps it’s applicable when you take care of the costs in a business setting.. On a date, however, each party must be willing to contribute. You can agree how you’ll pay in advance or during the date, regardless of who initiated it. Noone should expect one person to handle all the financial burden, but it's perfectly fine to talk about it. You can agree if your partner wants to pay the bill, but don't make it a rule.
Making the right choice
If you are planning the date (for example, making it a surprise), you bear the responsibility and the financial burden. To think about it, you don't know whether your partner will like your choice or whether they expect such expenses at all, so it's reasonable that the person who decided to surprise pays. The location, on the other hand, can be consulted with your partner, if it is something specific. On a first date, not everyone is excited about being in a BDSM-ish room with a sex swing.
Splitting the bill is acceptable. And the offer could be made by both you and your partner. Gender stereotypes have long been ineffective in developed countries. This has been done for decades in Holland, which is why splitting the bill is referred to as going Dutch. Dating today is an opportunity to showcase your best qualities. It's a turn-on, so be proactive.
A rule of thumb
All in all, it is entirely up to you how you feel comfortable paying your bills. There is only one rule that applies to both queer and heterosexual dating: the consent rule. There won’t be a problem if both parties will agree on a certain approach, even if it’s not commonly accepted. Just talk about it and be open.
Curiosities on the subject:
- Melissa Karran of the University of Arizona revealed that when a partner is responsible with money, we feel happier;
- Money is a major reason for divorce;
- Financial cheating is the practice of concealing one's income and expenses from one's partner.