How Do You Know If You're Ready To Date Again?
A breakup is one of the most challenging situations one can endure. It leaves you hurt and lonely. But you have to bounce back no matter how hard the breakup is. At some point, you might feel like it’s time to get back into the dating pool again.
If you go back to dating before you have fully healed from your past relationship, you might end up projecting your insecurities onto your new partner. Or you might be anxious, which can affect your mental health and sexual performance. Anxiety inducing issues in bed such as erectile dysfunction are completely normal - but if you or your partner have suffered with erectile dysfunction, you might consider looking into CBD oil for erectile dysfunction.
When it comes to maintaining a healthy relationship with yourself and other people, there is no set mourning period to get over someone. In fact you might never know when you will be ready to start dating again. However, there are some indicators of growth that show you might be ready to start something new. Here are some of them.
1. You Have Taken Time to Heal
Breakups (especially romantic ones) are commonly talked about in the media - which is a good thing. But on the flipside, the fact they are talked about so much means people often downplay the damage a break up can cause.
Breakups take so much from you, and it really takes a considerable amount of time to rebuild yourself again. Even when a relationship ends on good terms, you still might struggle with feelings of rejection.
Self-care can help you bounce back. It is worth noting that letting out those emotions can take on a variety of different forms. It could be you crying, listening to sad music, talking to supportive people, or reading books about breakups.
After some time of continuous healing, you will start to feel the burden lift off. Your heart will feel lighter, and the painful memories will stop dominating your mind. That is a sign that you might be ready to open your heart to new possibilities.
2. You have Learnt to be More Independent
Often after a breakup, you feel lonely– it is normal for human beings to yearn for companionship. However, loneliness is never a good foundation for a relationship. Unfortunately, there are voids that not even a partner can fill. That’s where independence comes in. In a nutshell, independence is the ability to be fulfilled as your own person. It’s important you feel whole on your own before becoming a part of something else.
An excellent way to cultivate independence is to have a hobby you can do on your own. Why not challenge yourself to get out and do activities on your own? It would also be a good idea when you get into a relationship, to nurture individual friendships so you can both have separate experiences. If you have learned how to be happy on your own, it’s a sign that you are ready to be with someone. You will be pouring from a full cup.
3. You’ve Come to Terms With How Things Ended
It is one thing to be over your ex. But it’s a different thing altogether, to be 100% honest with how things ended between you. Immediately after the breakup, it’s easy to blame the other person. But once the anger and hurt subside, you can look at the situation without being subjective. You can finally see the role you played in the breakup. Getting to that point indicates growth and self-awareness. You can finally start dating again without falling into old patterns.
On the same note, you can reflect on your past relationship and take lessons. Even amidst chaos, you can always find the eye of the hurricane. As you get into the dating pool again, you can take the good habits and lessons with you.
4. You are Ready to be Unselfish
It is human nature to consider yourself first. But when you start dating again, someone else tips the equilibrium. Therefore, you have to be ready to be unselfish. That means you need to do things without expecting any favors.
Selflessness and compromise goes a long way in preventing conflict in a relationship as you can still find reasons to care for your partner even when they wrong you. It involves putting yourself in their shoes and seeing things from your partner’s perspective. It also means finding it easy to forgive. So, if the idea of putting someone else first does not scare you, it is a sign that you are ready to date again.
5. You Have the Time
Dating means bringing someone else into your life - to be somewhat a part of it. So, you want to ensure that the new relationship will not cause stress in your life. Besides being emotionally available, time is another indicator of whether or not you are ready to date again. If you already have a heavy workload, it might be a good idea to hold off on the idea of dating until you find balance. Otherwise, you won’t be able to give it your all.
6. Does it Excite You?
What comes to mind when the idea of dating is thrown around you? Do you recoil with fear? Or does it evoke excitement? If it’s the latter, maybe dating again is not a bad idea for you after all. Just ensure you take the time to find the right person and date for the right reasons.
There is no Rush
Even if the above signs don’t resonate with you, remember there is no shame in being single. If you need more time, feel free to do just that.