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10 Tips on Feeling Sexy

Bettina Barth

At some point in life, every person learns the feeling of self-doubt - whether it comes from inexperience, shyness, face-morphing Instagram filters, a broken heart, or a bad breakup.

But, here's a little reminder to you: any person, regardless of age, gender, appearance or anything else can feel sexy.

Nourish your own body image

Sexiness is about how you feel about your body. And not about what the media and other people convey as an ideal, and what they see as beautiful. It is only important how you feel in your own body, whether you feel attractive and comfortable with your attractiveness, feel sensual and beautiful.

We all have bad days

We all know that there are days when we feel mushy and not comfortable in our bodies - and that's completely okay. It's not about being a sex bomb every day. Loving yourself and feeling sexy is not a competition and if there are days where you just want to snuggle up in the covers, that's absolutely fine. Feeling sexy is never about self-improvement, or trying to reach certain ideals -  it's about listening to your own needs.

Create a good environment

Maybe not on days when you want to hide and stay inside, but once in a while you can create an atmosphere just for you, one that would make you feel good. Dance to your favorite music, wear the clothes that make you feel sexy, watch movies or read books that excite and nurture you.

Explore your body

Of course, self-love also includes: loving yourself. By exploring your own body, you can learn what you're into and what kind of touches feel good. Unfortunately, there are still far too many people who are afraid to put their own needs first. But you are not there to satisfy your partner. It's about your pleasure.

Feel sexy for yourself

Because you have to feel sexy for you and not for someone else. You don't owe anything to anyone. We have to get away from this type of thinking that sexuality means satisfying the other person or consists of "classic" sex. Sexuality is so much more and even a single touch can be incredibly sexy.

Surround yourself with people that are good for you

It's not only your environment that makes you feel good, but also the people you surround yourself with. Are there people in your circle who always talk poorly about their body? Maybe they even say things about your body? What kind of people in your environment are good for you? Is there someone you can talk with openly about your worries and doubts without feeling judged? It is also helpful to know what you can take away for yourself from these discussions.

Auf Pure, ist Offenheit alles

Hier weiß jeder, was er sucht - und kommuniziert das auch offen. Kein endloses texten mehr, das zu nichts führt!

Don’t succumb to pressure from society

Please do not forget that we all feel the pressure of society. With just a few clicks, people today can retouch and distort their face or entire body to create beauty standards that can hardly or never be achieved naturally. In this world, there are a myriad of ways to compare yourself to these same unrealistic beauty standards. Go through your social media. Do you follow someone who heavily retouches their pictures? Do you follow people that make you feel bad? Then simply unfollow them: you have the right to determine what you see on social media. 

Be proud of who you are

Never forget: you are perfecntly fine the way you are. Just what makes you different from others is what makes you sexy and lovable! Beauty doesn’t mean that you should strive to look like Kim K or any other star who represents a modern, often unrealistic ideal of beauty. Your beauty lies in the fact that you can feel beautiful for yourself, and not for anyone else.

Please remember: when you’re on the beach you can find seashells and they all look different. Yet we do not say: this shell is round, therefore it’s more beautiful. No, each shell is unique and stunning in its own way. And this is exactly how you should see yourself. It would be boring if everyone looked the same, right?

Love yourself

Afterall, not everyone has to like you. And the most important thing is to like yourself.

If someone has a problem with you or your appearance, then that's the other person's problem - don't make it your own. You don't have to stress yourself. If someone wants to change you, tells you to lose weight or change your hair, then it's time for uncompromising self-love. Don’t change for anyone but yourself!

It’s okay to seek help

It’s a mix of all these factors that creates an atmosphere in which you can love yourself and find yourself sexy at all times. Self-love is not always all nice, even if we try really hard to make it that way. If you realize that you have a problem and it's not easy for you to accept yourself, then there's no shame and it's totally okay to seek help in the form of therapy or counseling. After all, if your arm is broken, you go to the doctor. You won't just get over it. If someone has hurt you mentally in the past, it's totally okay to seek help in healing those wounds. Mental health is an essential aspect of your overall health.

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