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How to liven up a stale conversation

How to liven up a stale conversation

Katya Shaposhnikova

Your interaction has hit a stumbling block, and you're unsure how to get back some of that flirtatious tone. Here is some tried-and-true advice from Pure on how to steer clear of awkward pickups and "What's up?" questions.

How to liven up a stale conversation.0.0

Make mistakes

It does sound freaky, we agree. It's impossible to avoid reacting to a mistake, that's the paradox. You might be surprised by how many people come to discredit your competence if you try posting something on social media with a factual error. Even a friend (or your ex) who checks out your profile once a year will try and correct you. It's not that everyone's a nerd; it's just how our brains function. Similar to how we strive to eliminate errors and bring harmony to the world, we find the asymmetrical to be rather ugly.

Bring up a memory from your chat and message with false information. Avoid going overboard and don't even try to pretend to remember everything you were told.

Example:

"You said you felt good about the 1 woman, 2 men. /.../ Oh, that's right, the 2 women, 1 man! I got it all mixed up, I'm sorry. Anyway, how does that work? Would you and your partner be looking for a third or can two of the three be strangers to you?"

Ask for their opinion

Lengthy conversations require curiosity. Even the most modest among us have a vain heart. We feel vital, our self-esteem soars, and our sense of self-worth blossoms when our position is brought up. After that, you can continue the conversation by asking clarifying questions and encouraging your partner to share experiences.

Example:

"I believe that body positivity is fantastic. But I've only recently begun exploring the idea of body neutrality. What do you think of it?"

Pure dating — no expectations, no limits

 

Call your match by the name

We like hearing our name because it conforms with who we are. Generally speaking, the more people talk about us, the more sympathy we feel for them. You can do as little as address your match by name, then, in response, say something unexpected or pose a question. You will find it easier to continue the dialogue like that.

Example:

"Sasha, your ad states "FWB."  I respect openness. Moreover, if you have any expectations for your matches, I'd love to hear about them."

How to liven up a stale conversation.2.0

Change topics 

Don't get stuck on one topic in your chat if you want to mix things up, especially if it's something that only interests you. When the subjects for small talk have run their course and you're not ready to move on to a more personal conversation, this is what causes awkward pauses. Keep in mind the FORD rule: family, occupation, recreation, and dreams. These are timeless topics that won't fail you. People appreciate it when you recall what they were talking about, so don't be afraid to bring up earlier conversations. Additionally, it will demonstrate your attention to the conversation and your match.

Example:

"We can both agree that "The Boys'" final season was a failure. Anyways, you mentioned being in an open relationship, if I recall correctly. If you can, tell me about it. Was it challenging?"

On the subject

  • Theoretically, shyness is inherited in the same way as IQ or height. This is according to scientist Raymond Kattel.
  • Robin Abrahams, a columnist for the Harvard Business School, contends that social media and the Internet have increased our  shyness in real life.
  • British people talk about the weather on average for five months of their life, according to a 2015 survey.
  • The error will often spark debate. Cunningham's Law is the name of this phenomenon.
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