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Artem (25) millennials, The Godfather, and weird dates

Artem (25) millennials, The Godfather, and weird dates

Reading about your dating adventures is almost as fun as going on dates yourself. We appreciate our Pure community members for sharing their stories with frankness and in detail. Would you like to be the next one featured here? Email us at [email protected]

I first downloaded Pure in 2017 and wasn’t using it that much, because at the time it wasn’t very popular in my area. Nonetheless, I stuck around, and within a couple of years, the number of people on the app significantly increased — that was 2019.

In general, just like on Tinder, I usually want someone to have a fun time with. I like the process of getting to know the person, taking them out on dates. Sometimes it’s cool to hook up with someone, too. The girls I’ve met so far have been a great match to my desires and what I’m looking for.

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One-night stands

I feel like this kind of arrangement is more than relevant for Russians due to the nature of our lifestyle: we work more than Europeans and Americans, and even more than people in some Asian countries. I’m not talking about South Korea and China here, of course. The average Russian person works a lot and doesn’t have much free time for any personal life arrangements. And in some way, we all crave adventure to release stress. So, I feel like meeting up just for fun and hooking up are appropriate for us. Much better than destructive ways of stress relief, anyway.

Read our 8 do’s and don'ts for hookups here.

Let your imagination run wild

Explore your desires. On Pure you start the journey by posting your ad.

Millennials don’t like sex?

Millennials are dating less than any other generation in general. On the one hand, my generation is sex-positive for the most part and sex is widely available, especially in Moscow. On the other hand, our society is still somewhat conservative and people are living by outdated principles. There is a lack of understanding of what sex is. When someone my age mentions that HIV can be transmitted through shaking hands or a small papercut — that is a bad sign. Sex education is severely lacking in our country. 

In general, I would say, our sex views don’t necessarily have much to do with age or generation: it’s more of an issue of smaller towns and big cities. That’s where the biggest difference can be seen. Ekaterina Shulman (politician, activist) talked about this. Imagine this: you’re in the USSR in the 70s. Your main goals in life are getting a higher education, starting a family, choosing a specialty, and then working in that area for the rest of your life. That’s it — task completed. Simply because you’re terrified skipping one of the steps, as that puts you at risk of a total collapse of everything, even losing your place in society. Nowadays, things are way less complicated. Higher education is widely available, people are free to walk their own path, and both Europeans and Russians can dive into self-search with no end date if they wish to. Today there’s a lot of people in their thirties still searching for their place in the world. The question here is: how long will the process take? That’s what scares me a little bit.

“I think you dropped something”

Awkward situation story. I met up with this girl, we were having a chat at a café. I couldn’t help thinking like she was slightly cross-eyed. At one point during our conversation, she bent over to get something, and… her eye fell out. I was shocked. She’s like “oh, no worries, that happens”. 

It turned out they picked the wrong eye prosthetic size for her. She told me she was born blind in one eye, and at one point, doctors had to remove it and give her an artificial one.  

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The date went well, actually. We talked a lot, the conversation was great, she told me about her plans for the future. She was thinking about getting rid of the prosthetic and opting for a black eye instead because she felt it would complement her uniqueness, and wouldn’t give her that cross-eyed look. She was so confident in herself — I was truly amazed by her. We went out a few more times but then turned out to be quite, um, politically incompatible.

“Don’t wake my husband up!”

When I was in Saint Petersburg, I matched with this girl on Pure and we agreed to meet up. It was my last day — I had to catch the train back to Moscow the next morning. We went to an Irish pub, had a great time, then decided to proceed to her place.

The next morning, this dialogue happened:

Her: You got to go.
Me: Yeah, I should be going.
Her: Be quiet though – my husband’s asleep.
Me: Are you kidding? Did you mean brother? Grandmother? Your mom, maybe?
Her: Nope, my husband.

As it turned out, they were in an open relationship — and kept each other informed on what they’re doing and who they’re seeing. At that age (I was 21), it was a shocking revelation.

I’m older now, and I get why some people want to be in an open relationship — as long as both partners have an agreement and both are satisfied, that is totally okay. The most important thing here would be to use protection and get a medical check-up every now and then. Cheating, however, is different. As in, when there’s no agreement in place and partners keep secrets, telling one another “you’re my only one”.  

I am possessive by nature, so I would honestly be uncomfortable in an open relationship. Maybe that’s not the best way to look at it, but it is what it is. 

Why does cheating differ from an open relationship? Check out here.

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Gastronomic Battle

This one time, I met up with a girl. She was either vegetarian or vegan — can’t remember. We agreed to go to a vegetarian place. Long story short, she didn’t know I was, in fact, a meat-eater. I said that sometimes I can go weeks eating plant-based to help my body function better and it seems to work for me. As soon as I told her that, she went nuts and left before we got to order. It was a strange episode of my life. My weirdest date ever probably. I still recall the situation with the same feeling of incomprehension as when it happened.

By the way, if you have no clue where to go on a first date, you can always check out our best first date ideas guide here.

Bloody Mary 

Another fun story. The morning after a fun night with this girl — it was at a hotel — I woke up to find myself all covered in blood down there. Yes, just like that scene in The Godfather. Apparently, she got her period that night, and it seemed like it was pretty heavy. My reaction wasn’t too considerate — I was quite inexperienced back then and didn’t know what to do or say in these situations. I panicked a little and rushed to tell her: “Hey, so, um, we’ve got a problem”. To which she calmly replied “Okay, it’s all good, don’t panic.” She had a spare pair of underwear, pads, and everything else one could possibly need in this scenario. We asked the hotel cleaners to come by, and the lady that came to help us didn’t even bat an eye. She’s probably used to these rendezvous, I thought.

For me PURE is...

The most important thing about one’s Pure ad is…

It’s best to say you’re looking for someone you will be comfortable spending time with. It’s important to clarify whether you would like a proper date or a strictly sexual encounter.

A piece of advice for someone who is new to online dating?

Don’t send nudes right away - both girls and guys.

What ads attract you the most?

The funny ones. I believe the funnier and wittier the girl is, the easier it is to communicate with her.

Have you had an experience that started as an ONS and grew into something more eventually?

Yep, it’s still going on. Unfortunately, I got rejected, so we’re still meeting just for intimacy.

Your most successful Pure ad:

I don’t have one ;( 

The first thing you tell about yourself…

Age and nationality – usually those are the first questions people ask.

What’s not a good topic for the very first chat?

That I’m bored by our conversation.

What are some fantasies you’ve managed to fulfill with someone from Pure?

Now that’s a secret.

What’s something you’ve never tried and won’t try?

A third person watching. Especially if it’s the girl’s husband.

In a potential partner, you are most attracted to…

Good sense of humor and adequacy.

You will never date a person who…

Changes plans and opinions every 5 seconds.

The coolest thing about Pure is…

The ability to learn something new. I once matched with a girl who worked in landscape design. It was so cool to get insights on plants and how landscape influences society.

A piece of advice for someone who just downloaded the app?

Talk!

Pure Team

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