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What should one answer to the question "Why are you alone?"

Katya Shaposhnikova

Isn't it true that this question sounds similar to "What's wrong with you?". It is important to understand that in most cases this question is tactless. In the rare cases when you can not keep quiet, Pure advises these methods to protect your boundaries.

I am comfortable with myself

Not everyone wants to live with someone, and not even everyone has the need to date someone all the time. This is completely normal, there can be many reasons for this. For example, someone might still be recovering from a previous breakup or is tends to be polygamous by nature which results in them not wanting to have a long-term relationship at all. Let us not forget about asexuals, who also have absolutely no obligation to tell the whole world why they do not want sexual relations, and aromantic people, who do not need intimacy at all and even experience this as painfully uncomfortable. If this is your response, your interlocutor will wonder if he is not a victim of social stereotypes and if they are not mistaken when they ask such questions without any reason.

With Pure you are not alone

Find a partner for the evening — or for life. Our users do not ask tactless questions here, and if they do, they do it in the nicest way possible.

I have not met the right person yet

No matter how high your standards are, you have every right to have them. The fact that you do not have a partner right now is not a failure or a tragedy, but an opportunity to search. When you talk about your aspirations, the question will naturally follow, "So what are you looking for?" That's pretty easy to answer if you know exactly what you need. However, if you do not feel like it, you can say this, "I am looking for something special and I do not want to be with someone just for fear of loneliness." It's not like you can list all of your ONS from Pure for the last six months, anyway!

I don't have time for this

Your time is all yours, and only you decide what to spend it on. If a woman has decided that her career is more important and it is better to devote all her time to work, others have an obligation to respect her decision. If a man is unwilling to sacrifice ten hours of sleep for a date, or prefers to spend the weekend reading a book or taking a Japanese class, his decision must be respected. If your choice has changed and you are looking, you can mention this. It is perfectly normal to change your priorities and start looking for a couple when you feel ready.

Curiosities on this topic

  • According to statistics, there are more singles in big cities than in small towns
  • There is positive (voluntary) loneliness and negative (isolation).
  • The fear of loneliness is called autophobia.
  • Sweden is the country with the highest number of depression due to loneliness.

Why do you ask?

One of the best ways to avoid an uncomfortable question is to use the counter-question method. If the question is not asked by a very close person, they will most likely be confused and think about the answer. If a loved one asks, they will openly explain the reason. Maybe they wanted to introduce you to someone or invite you to a bachelor party. Or maybe they know someone who has warm feelings for you, but carefully hides it.

Because no one can handle my multiple personalities

If you do not want to answer inappropriate questions, sometimes you can make a harmless joke. This will cheer up both you and the person asking and make it clear: It's none of their business. Sarcasm and self-mockery are a win-win cocktail that allows you to defend your boundaries without violating the other person's. And remember the most important thing: you do not have to answer questions you do not like at all. You are not on the exam.

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