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How to build a serious relationship if you don't intend to have children

How to build a serious relationship if you don't intend to have children

Katya Shaposhnikova

Children are the future. But what if you intend to live childfree? Is it even possible to build a relationship if you do not strive for reproduction and want to live a life for yourself? Pure guides you through this topic.

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Accept your choice

We'll start by saying that nobody owes anyone anything. There are people all over the world who do not want or are unable to have children. This does not make them different from everyone else. Life is comprised of many important aspects aside from family. There is no need to make excuses about your financial situation or anything else, if you are simply not ready. A simple "I don't want to get into this" is sufficient. Always be truthful and avoid relationships with any potential partner who does not understand this.

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Don't hide your intentions

You want a partner, not a headache. Nobody wants to be accused of not being transparent, right? So really, you should always be clear and concise about your desires. If you use Pure, make sure that the info about yourself and your intentions is there for your matches to see. Try meeting offline, and when you're talking about yourself, highlight the scenario and tell us how you see the future. Don't give false hope by saying, "Perhaps someday I'll want to." Even if possible, it will not happen anytime soon, so your partner's hopes might be in vain.

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Simplify it

If you plan to live childlessly, it makes sense to look for a partner who shares your beliefs. There are numerous dating apps available, as well as certain interest meetings on the Meetup platform. And after all, you're on Pure, where people are free to express themselves and seek out like-minded individuals. Try it out, you might be surprised at how many people share your opinions.

This might be useful: Here’s our list of the 10 most frequent problems in relationships. Read here and now.

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Minimize risks

Take precautions to avoid force majeure if your position is not subject to revision. Regular contraception is important. But we all know what happens that sometimes things just don't go as planned: single parenthood, unwanted children, stress, and ruined lives. For both men and women, there are multiple options for postponing childbearing. By protecting yourself and your partner from accidents, you will demonstrate that you are ready for a serious relationship and do not delegate responsibility to others.

Don't be afraid of dialogue

Problem-solving is a useful skill in any relationship. Prepare to have serious conversations if you want to marry or live together. Your partner is very likely to be skeptical. Not everyone is certain of their position on having children, so maybe there will be questions about your long-term life planning. Have a calm conversation and explain your position. Plan, persuade, and propose solutions. Note that freedom of choice for both of you is important to you, and you would not want to impose any conditions. Whether or not to have children is a serious decision. Everyone has the right to have doubts, so don't get in the way of others' attempts to make a decision.

Are you tired of dating? We understand. Read how to deal with dating burnout. Yes, it can happen to anyone!

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