7 outdated sexual terms. Don't say that!
We live in a world where stereotypes are difficult to 'peel away.' And it's interesting to see how many people's descriptions of reality no longer correspond to it. Language is dynamic and ever-changing, including how we discuss sex with each other or in public. We invite you to enter Pure on the correct terms.
Yes, most sexual vocabulary is outdated
Many sex- and fantasy- related words and expressions have indeed become irrelevant. Some are the result of scientific discoveries, while others have become discriminatory, as the visibility of social groups has grown: they have a voice, and we have learned what not to say. Here is a small list of words where meanings have shifted.
Language is dynamic and ever-changing, including how we discuss sex
We say ‘sex,’ but we mean so much more!
"We had sex.” What comes to mind when you hear this? Most likely, sex with penetration, vaginal or anal, and someone’s penis is involved. But modern sexology identifies sex in a broader sense. It is defined as any sexual interaction, including petting, blow jobs, cunnilingus, mutual masturbation, toy stimulation, and kissing.
Everyone has a different level of physical and emotional sensitivity. Then there are those who find penetration incredibly painful... You can't ignore physiology — it must be considered. Sex should be pleasurable, and if it causes pain, pleasure is unlikely to occur. In this case, sex can be everything except penetration. Engage your imagination — it will get you one step closer to making sex beneficial and enjoyable for everyone.
Remember that any sexual activity requires consent, which is why you should discuss sex with your partner. Here's how to do it!
Not "virginity" but "lack of sexual experience"!
It's simple: the hymen can have a completely different shape and elasticity, or be almost non-existent. As we said, sex is about more than just penetration. So leave the bloody sheets to the Middle Ages. All the better if your partner acts carefully during the first penetrative sex, uses lubricant, and is attentive — both blood and pain can be avoided with a high probability. Dive into Pure if you're looking for a sexual experience.
There are no vaginal, clitoral, squirting orgasms, or g-spots
Squirting can happen; it can be enjoyable, but it's not an orgasm
In all fairness, it does not exist — there is only an orgasm. It includes the clitoral orgasm, as well as the almost unfortunate G-spot. Female physiology has only recently been studied in considerable depth. The clitoris, it turns out, is a large organ with legs that wrap around the vagina. So, clitoral stimulation is always at the heart of an orgasm. It's normal for those with vaginas to prefer external stimulation. It is abnormal if they believe they are inferior because they do not have a "vaginal orgasm." Do you know someone like this? Have a chat about sex with them, explaining that there is no vaginal orgasm. There is also no g-spot. They're both fiction. Scientists have discovered a massive clitoris inside a female’s body, but the g-spot is nowhere to be found!
This is also a legend. Squirting may or may not accompany an orgasm. Scientists tend to disagree about the type of fluid secreted from the urethra when you squirt. Part of the composition is prominent, but they also find lubricant particles and hormones in the secretion. Anyway, let's not make any claims and instead wait — they'll figure it out soon enough.
We're often embarrassed to say no. But when someone says 'no,’ it never means 'maybe'
Everything you need to know about tops and bottoms in 2023
Tops and bottoms
You can pick tops and bottoms at the store, but you can’t shop for people. Everyone who has consented to having sex is an equal participant. To divide people into tops and bottoms is strange and discriminatory: everyone can have different preferences.
Of course, we live in a world where people still shame each other for having specific preferences. But we should also remember that none of that defines who we are.
This goes even further: a man who has had sexual relations with another man does not become gay. There are many different identities within the LGBT+ community. Sexual attraction is not a choice, and it has nothing to do with sex. It may be overly romantic, but it is about love. A human is born with a preference; they do not develop one. It may not be obvious, but it has nothing to do with sex. Butterflies in the stomach may be the ones to blame!
Joking about t*people's experiences shouldn't be a thing
If you know someone who’s transgender, you can refer to them as a transgender person, but in other cases, the preferred pronouns that the person uses to refer to themselves should be used. Even if you initially find it difficult to consider them that gender. It can be the binary "he" or "she," the non-binary "they," a combination of all three, or neopronouns (ze/zir).
And though it’s obvious, joking about t*people's experiences shouldn't be a thing. People are rejected by their bodies and social experiences, and if they decide to transition, they are frequently abandoned by friends and family. Let's not offend them with obsolete, to say the least, terms.
How do you talk about sex with a transgender person? Take a look at our detailed guide here!
No is a complete sentence!
When someone says "no," it does not suggest "maybe." We're sure you already know this, but we'll remind you: we just hate saying no in life and in sex. For centuries, women lived in the paradigm of 'marital duty,' which is what our parents saw sex as. And it still is for many of us deep inside.
Read our guide to consent in relationships to learn how to talk about sex with your partner