Dating a bisexual man. The experience of Pure and celebrities
Is it difficult to date a bisexual man? Is it possible to build a sustainable relationship with someone who is attracted to both men and women? Here’s our take: it's easy! We share insights from your favorite bi-stars and Pure community members.
Brian Molko
"I am in this fortunate or unfortunate position being bisexual in that I have twice as many people to lust over", Molko has always been openly bisexual, calling himself a "lesbian trapped in a man's body". He wasn’t shy about kissing guitarist Stefan Olsdahl on stage. In 2005, the singer and his girlfriend, photographer Helena Berg, had a son. Since 2009, Bryan has been a single father. As he has repeatedly admitted in interviews, being openly bi isn’t an easy journey in both his career and personal life, but he still believes it's important to fight prejudice against the LGBTQ+ community.
“I am very lustful. I am in this fortunate or unfortunate position being bisexual in that I have twice as many people to lust over. I don't think lust is a sin. People should have sex as much and in as many situations as possible. Then they'd be less uptight.”
PURE DATING — HERE, NOW WITH NO SHAME!
Jared Leto
To be fair, The 30 Seconds to Mars frontman is better known for looking immortal than for his relationships or having affairs with guys. But Leto's personal life has always been under the radar. Yes, he has dated Cameron Diaz (they almost got married), Scarlett Johansson, and a model named Valerie Kaufman. At the same time, he has always stated that he also dates men. For example, with the now deceased cabaret diva and actress Alexis Arquette — when she identified as a man. As far as we know Leto's girlfriends were not surprised by this, as he maintained friendly relations with all of his previous partners. Also, in almost every interview he spoke that he was not considering having a family. And we understand: why would anyone want a routine life with a wife and kids when you can hang out with the creative director of Gucci and Alessandro Michele?
"I don't want to censor myself about this fucking issue because I don't have a problem with gays or straights or anything like that."
Here's what you need to know about bisexuality. Read our piece
Catherine from Pure, 28
To all the girls who haven't dated bisexual men: if it happens to you, you'll honestly wish that all guys were bisexual!
There were things I rediscovered in my relationship with a bisexual partner that I obviously lacked with heterosexuals. Empathy, intuition, and an entirely different kind of interest in my body. He never acted like a stereotypical masc, and I must say all of my needs were met.
There were also positive differences in lifestyle. I liked that he was a perfume connoisseur and a cleanliness maniac. We divided household chores and had no disagreements.
It was one of the most memorable experiences of my life. Unfortunately, we parted ways due to being in different countries; but we have remained friends, and I hope to meet someone similar in the future — I would gladly date a bi-guy again.
Benedict Cumberbatch
Benedict and Sophie Hunter have three sons and have been married since 2015. Benedict previously dated actress Olivia Poulet (for 12 years!) and had relationships with designer Anna Jones and model Ekaterina Elizarova. At the same time, he never concealed the fact that he has had relationships with men and continues to be interested in them. Benedict grew up in a private boys' school, where he discovered his bi-curious nature. It didn't bother him, his wife, or his previous lovers.
"While the experiments [at Brambletye school] were going on, it never occurred to me, 'Oh, this is it.' It was just boys and their penises, just like with girls and vaginas and boobs. It wasn't about desire."
How is bisexuality different from being bi-curious? If you wanna know — keep on reading
Billy Joe Armstrong
The lead singer of Green Day is married, and the couple has two sons. At the same time, early in his career, he came out as bisexual. Armstrong addressed the issue of biphobia toward bisexuals, who are frequently denied acceptance into the community, in his interviews. Later, in an interview about the Dookie album, Armstrong stated that songs in the album are dedicated to bisexuality, openness, and support for gay marriage.
"I think I've always been bisexual. I mean, that's something I've always been interested in. I think people are born bisexual, and it's just that our parents and society kind of set us up to feel like, 'Oh, I can't.' They say it's taboo. It's ingrained in our heads that it's bad when it's not bad at all. It's a very beautiful thing."
Eugene from Pure, 35
I've always dated bisexual men and women. Almost every one of them had a long-term girlfriend or wife. Let me explain. To me, the most important aspect of life (and any relationship) is physical and mental health. When a man has a long-term relationship with a woman and a secure boyfriend, he has no reason to look for anything else. Therefore, cheating rarely occurs and as a result, everyone in this love triangle is both mentally healthy and happy.
I don't and have never felt jealousy towards my partner's girl — a relationship with a woman cannot be compared to a relationship with a man. We satisfy completely different needs as lovers: I give what she can't, and she gives what I can't. I was discussing this with a psychologist to make sure it was normal, and she said something wonderful: "Bisexuals choose a person, a personality, rather than a gender. Isn't that phenomenal?"
Alan Cumming
From 1985 to 1993, the "Spy Kids" and "X-Men" star was married to classmate Hilary Lyon, then he dated actress Saffron Burroughs and Nick Philippou. In 2012, the actor married illustrator Grant Schaffer in New York, where he has lived happily ever after with his husband and two dogs. Alan has always described himself as bisexual, highlighting the complexity of human nature. And, no, his spouse isn't bothered by it at all.
"I see a disturbing trend among LGBT people that if you only identify in one way, you shut out other experiences. My sexuality has never been black and white; it has always been gray. I'm with a man, but I haven't closed myself off from the fact that I'm still sexually attracted to women."
