The Most Common Problems in Relationships and How to Solve Them
If you don't have relationship problems, then you don't have a relationship. Everyone, without exception, faces difficulties, the main thing is to anticipate these challenges and resolve them. Pure examines the causes of conflicts and looks at ways to overcome them.
Jealousy
A common problem, especially among young people who have not had time to cope with childhood trauma. A sense of possessiveness, distrust, and surveillance in social networks can destroy even the strongest union. Jealousy of friends, work, or other family members looks even worse. In this case, we are already dealing with a somewhat clinical picture. There is a misconception that the lack of jealousy in a relationship is a sign of indifference. Not so much: there is nothing worse than a jealous person destroying their partner's trust because of unhealthy self-esteem.
What to do: Chronically jealousy can only be remedied by a specialist. Therefore, it can be challenging to overcome without the help of a family psychologist. In the case of rational jealousy, which does not exceed the boundaries of the norm, it may help to realize that the danger of losing a partner because of infidelity is much less than losing him because of your behavior. Distrust will lead to separation faster than fictional infidelity.
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Mismatch in sex
Unfortunately, this is one of the most difficult problems to overcome. People in a relationship may have different temperaments, cultural backgrounds, and habits formed in early youth. Often after 7-10 years of marriage, sex simply disappears from the couple's life or becomes routine. Maintaining the quality of sexual life is not as easy as it seems at first glance, but this is definitely not the problem that is worth parting over.
What to do: First of all, talk. No one will be able to guess your wishes if you don't voice them. Tell your partner about your fantasies and let him express his own. Discuss the problems, if there are any, do not hush up anything that does not suit you in bed. Even after twenty years of living together, you can revive desire and passion, try something new, and eventually test an open relationship.
Financial issues
While you are in a relationship, the financial situation of both will change. Your partner may lose their job, and you may go for a promotion or vice versa. This is normal, but it provokes conflicts if the difference in financial solvency is too large.
What to do: As in the previous paragraph, the main thing is not to be silent. Remember that this issue is also being resolved. Discussing your financial relationships is no less important than discussing sexual ones. Jointly set the rules for budget management, plan it regularly and consult with each other. This will allow you to prevent a strong imbalance in your finances and avoid quarrels on this basis.
Curiosities on the subject
- Research conducted by the American National Bureau of Economic Research in 2014 showed us that the happiest marriages are concluded between the best friends.
- A study by the University of Connecticut has shown that a person who is economically dependent on his / her spouse is more likely to be unfaithful.
- People who feel loved are less likely to have a heart attack.
- A quarter of men interviewed by the British tabloid Daily Mail admitted that they would like to resume a relationship with their first love, even if they have to break off the current one.
Routine stuff
Everyone has quarreled at least once over unwashed dishes or socks scattered around the room. Even arguments about not closing toothpaste have also been the culprit of more than one breakup. These everyday trifles do not seem important, but they create a cumulative effect, and people enter into a serious conflict.
What can you do: In fact, a good solution would be to get a helper. When a third person is engaged in everyday life, all conflicts disappear like magic. But if for some reason this is not possible, agree on the rules in the house, put them together, and whoever violates them pays for cleaning. Quite a reasonable and fair way out.
Projections
If someone has not resolved internal conflicts, they will project them onto the other. This is toxic and will make the partner feel guilty and close down. When projecting, a person attributes their feelings, thoughts, and desires to others and thus absolves himself of responsibility for those traits that seem unacceptable. For example, the same jealousy is often a disguised desire to change.
What to do: Realize and take responsibility for your emotions. There will be no forward movement without this. It is also important to work on recognizing your feelings and emotions, learn to fix them and stop to comprehend and separate your own from the feelings and thoughts of others. If this is difficult for you, do not hesitate to seek help from a specialist.
See what else we have on this topic: 10 things that destroy any relationship.