The PURE Guide to Consent

Consent doesn’t kill the mood. It sets it. Great sex isn’t a solo act (unless you’re home alone). It’s a friction between two people. But to get that friction right, without burning the house down, you need to know exactly where the lines are drawn. Use this quick and dirty consent guide on and off the app. Here’s how to keep the vibe right.
What is Consent?
Consent at its most basic is an agreement to participate in an activity. We give and receive consent in many aspects of our lives each and every day—from “Can I have a fry?” to “Can I kiss you?” Despite what’s been written into many hetero romance movies, consent never comes from pressure. It’s freely given and genuine. Your boundaries are meant to be respected, not shapeshifted against your will.
Trauma-informed Consent
Saying no can be hard, especially for women or those who have experienced trauma. Maybe you feel pressured to please others and go against your own desires. That’s why talking openly and honestly about consent beyond a “yes” or “no” is a must.
You don’t owe anyone your trauma history and no one owes you theirs. But it’s time to expand the consent convo! Be a little more trauma-informed by walking through potential triggers and safe words. This can make it easier to say no later if you change your mind (because yes, consent can be revoked!). Let your partner know they can always tell you if they want to stop doing something. This can create emotional safety, which helps people feel more comfortable saying “no.”
Understanding Consent on PURE Dating App
Consent isn’t just something we remind you about. It’s built into how PURE App works.
- Almost no personal info required to get started. Reveal what you want, when you want.
- Chats disappear after 24 hours unless you’re both into it. No pressure to stay in a convo you’re not feeling.
- Provocative photos are blurred by default — tap and select "Show" to reveal one, or go to Settings > Sensitive content > "I want to see" to disable blurring entirely.
- Screenshots are blocked. Attempts trigger a warning for both chat partners.
- Any photo taken within the app is marked as a True Photo, so you can feel confident about who's really behind the screen.
- Blocking and reporting are always one tap away if someone crosses a line.
When chatting with someone on PURE, ask for their consent before you send media. Whether it’s a sexy voice note or a steamy photo, make sure your chat partner wants to see or hear whatever you wanna show them.
Consent on dates
Taking it offline? When you meet your PURE date, listen for boundaries, and respect them. Wanna kiss them? Ask first. Read their body language too. Do they look relaxed, comfortable, or excited? Do they say “yes” with their words while their body says “no?” Pause. Reassure them that they don’t have to do anything they don’t want to.
Feel uneasy yourself? Don’t hesitate to leave early.
We've got your back before, during, and after:
Safety Signal lets you share your location and date’s photos with a trusted contact. Your match will know you’ve activated it. If that bothers them, that tells you something.
Post-date check-in asks if everything went well or if you felt unsafe. We act on it. It helps us keep the community safe.
Consent during sex
Listen for verbal “yeses” and “nos,” but don’t forget to read their body language too. It’s all about awareness – of self and others. Pay attention to how you’re feeling in your body and how your partner is reacting. Are they tensing underneath you? Are their eyes darting towards the door? If so, stop and check in.
Before things get hot, speak openly with your partner about boundaries, limits, and preferences. A little transparency can prevent a whole lot of misunderstanding. Safe words make things extra clear.
Choose your own, or try the traffic light system:
- Green: “I love this,” more please
- Yellow: slow down, pause, or change what you’re doing
- Red: stop, talk, aftercare
Care doesn’t end at consent, and good sex doesn’t end at orgasm. Bask in the warmth of a hot, consensual sesh with a little aftercare. Cuddles. Water. Swapping stories about your favorite moments or your lives. Everyone’s different, so talk to your partner about their needs.
Safer dating starts with consent. So, tell your partner what you want and ask if they want it too. Get on the same page or get out. Use these practices to build trust into your dating and sexual experiences going forward.