08 April 2024

Love and Laughter: are Women Free to Show Their Funny Side?

Pure surveyed 2,000 adults on the importance of a shared sense of humor in their love lives and how they act when their date isn’t quite the perfect match. The results show that while women love to laugh during a date, it’s often due to discomfort or politeness, rather than genuine amusement.

The fastest way to the heart? Humor. Laughter is vital to finding love. The fastest way to the heart? Humor. Laughter is crucial to finding love—It lightens the mood, washing away those pre-date nerves, and makes our eyes light up, instantly making us more attractive. It’s also a good sign that you and your date are on the same wavelength and that you should be able to laugh your way through tough times.

Yet, love is never straightforward and, when it comes to dating, neither is laughter. Whether to avoid awkward silences or uncomfortable confrontations, women are prone to chuckling their way through a bad joke just to stop a date from turning sour.

Key takeaways:

Humor is one of the most important qualities we look for in a potential partner, with 64% of women and 48% of men seeking someone who shares their taste in jokes.
However, many women don’t feel they’re free to share their funny side during a date. Some 53% of people admit they fake their sense of humor, while 29% worry they aren’t funny enough.
Likewise, 33% of women admit they wouldn’t tell a date if they found their jokes inappropriate or offensive, while 68% would laugh to hide how they truly feel.

Looking for love laughs

Forget brains or beauty. For most, the quality we desire most in a partner is a brilliant sense of humor. In fact, while navigating the dating scene, 83% of people are on the lookout for a match that can make them laugh.

Women, in particular, value a date with a good joke or two up their sleeves, with 64% stating that it’s very important that they share a similar sense of humor with their partner. After all, as the saying goes, “couples who laugh together, last together”.

Yet, despite its importance, many women doubt their ability to impress a love interest with their quick wit and perfect delivery. While the vast majority of people feel that gender plays no role in the ability to make others laugh, 15% of women are convinced that men are the funnier gender — more than double those that believe women are naturally funnier.

Being funny or being fake?

With humor highly valued in the dating scene, 73% of people worry that others won’t find them funny. Yet, we all have a funny bone and we’re all capable of providing a laugh. If a joke you’re convinced is hilarious doesn’t quite land, don’t worry. Humor is highly subjective, so all it means is that you haven’t found your perfect match yet.

But with research showing that most people know within the first hour of a date whether they want to take things further, there’s so much pressure to make an immediate impression that we often attempt to fake it until we make it. In fact, 53% admit to changing their sense of humor to impress a date.

The fine line between humor and offense

There’s no harm in a little flirty banter between you and your date. It creates romantic tension and shows you have good chemistry. But there’s always the potential for a joke to go a step too far. While men are more likely to say the wrong thing, with one in five admitting they’ve upset a partner “loads of times”, it’s a quality they share with many women—given 51% cause an upset every now and then.

How do you stop a poorly-received joke from bringing a date to an early end? Some 36% of men brush it off as a harmless quip and 3% get offended, which definitely isn’t going to earn you a second chance. The best course of action, as 76% of women do, is to admit your mistake and apologize.

Laughing through the pain

So when it comes to humor, what’s hot and what’s not? Sexual jokes have their time and place, but it really depends on the person. Dirty humor makes 12% of people feel uncomfortable, for instance, while 73% of women say that timing is everything. So if you’re relying on making her laugh to make a good impression, maybe you should save the risqué ones until you know they won’t be taken the wrong way.

Some 20% of women would laugh along with an offensive joke. If you both find it funny, where’s the harm? However, many women don’t see the funny side of dark or inappropriate humor. Yet, while 47% are happy to shut down a bad joke, 33% don’t feel comfortable telling a date that they really aren’t that funny.

There’s some things you just don’t joke about. Homophobia or sexism is never funny and the chance of causing offense is high. But while 29% of men feel comfortable calling out those that pass off such sensitive topics as a joke, many women don’t feel they have the same luxury. In fact, to avoid conflict, 15% of women wouldn’t say a word.

Even if your date isn’t particularly funny, chances are they will still find a way to make you laugh. Some 68% of people admit they laugh at jokes that don’t really amuse them while dating, whether it’s because they’re feeling uncomfortable or they’re just too polite to act how they really feel.

It’s good to be polite, but don’t pretend you’re someone you’re not. Dating is a marathon, not a sprint—You’re looking for someone to spend your life with, and do you really want it to be someone that can’t find your funny bone?

Methodology: To create this study, researchers from Pure surveyed 2,000 adults aged over 18 years old. The study includes participants from all geographies.