What Should You Say On Dating Apps instead of "Hi, How are you?"
"Hello, how are you?", "What's up?", "What brought you here?" - to keep these questions on a reasonable level, you'll need a thorough strategy. Fill out your profile and be prepared to steer the conversation away from basic topics. And learn to disregard those who aren't interested in you, nor in how you're really doing. We share stories from seasoned Puritans to help you!
Constantine, 30
I'll note that "Hello, how are you?" is not the worst possible question. At the very least, the individual you’re chatting with managed to make a complete sentence. And if they don't make any mistakes and use proper punctuation, it’s 10 out of 10. Much worse is a smiley that you don't know how to respond to. Thank you very much? Hi? Are you on... fire? I don't get it. I never respond to emojis.
If a cute guy is asking "Hey, how's it going?" I might respond if I really like him. However, before responding, it is always best to take a look at the profile and avoid basic questions. Ask about his interests or what you saw in the photos. This way, neither of you will be confused by long pauses and awkward random questions. For example, I enjoy cheese and always mention it on my profile. You could begin by asking, "So, do you prefer ricotta or gorgonzola?"
Pure Tip: Fill out your profile and write what you want in the ad - this will increase the chances of dialogue after the obligatory, basic question exchange
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Sofia, 23
I try to craft a bio so that I get a different message from the start. When I first moved to LA I mentioned it in the ad. Many people asked whether I had an accent. As far as I know, In the US catfishing is common, so app users ask for a verified photo at the beginning of a chat. I currently have a mention in my ad about everyone’s favorite TV show. Those who write, "Hello, how are you?" I immediately eliminate. They haven't read my bio, which isn't good enough for me.
Of course, if I match a devilishly handsome guy, I'll give it a shot. But practice shows that matches like that don’t work out. It's better to choose people who are interested in you and actually read your profile and ad.
Pure Tip: Respond unexpectedly, but with enthusiasm. Don't forget to include emojis! Without them, many people will interpret the message as rude, cold, or even arrogant. Amusing, but that's how it is
Olga, 35
In English-speaking regions, this question appears in 99% of the first messages, and it bothers me so much. I became so enraged one day that I decided to take matters into my own hands. I planned to begin with a joke: so I'd send a lemon emoji and say, "It's a pick-up lime." This usually works: someone jokes back saying that it's a lemon, not lime, to which I reply: then it’s pick-up easy-peasy lemon squeezy. There is no tension, only laughs! After a start like this, we almost always decide to meet up and talk offline.
Learn 5 icebreakers that will help break the ice with about anyone
On the subject
- Operation Match, the first dating site, was founded in 1965 by two Harvard students using an IBM 1401 computer;
- The second largest paid online content industry is online dating;
- According to Dr. Lisa Firestone's research for Psychology Today, 30% of millennials are always lonely;
- The majority of dating app users communicate with at least 11 matches at once.
Looking for tips on how to write a PURE ad? We share our best tips here
Vlad, 25
"Hey, let's exchange pics" - that’s how I reply to every basic question. Not necessarily naked, but at least a verified photo without filters. Alternatively, I suggest video chat. I believe it saves a lot of time (and mistakes). We all know well that a beautiful insta diva could turn out to be a monster, who can't put two words together, and a stranger who started with the most stupid phrase ever could turn out to be really cute.
Anastasia, 22
I have a profile without a photo, and for security reasons, I usually ask that the guy sends his photo first. Instead of saying, "Hi, how are you?" they ask, "So where's your photo?". The conversation usually rolls on its own from there: I explain why I don't post my pics, and if I like someone’s personality, I ask him about his kinks, tell him about mine, and only if it’s a match - I send a photo. This strategy has never failed me. I kill two birds with one stone by chatting in the safest way while also sifting out trivial questions ahead of time. And there is always something to discuss!
Here are more tips for safe online dating