10 Important Reasons to NOT Text Your Ex (Ever Again)
We’ve all been there. One moment you’re fine, and the next - all you want to do is reach out to your ex. Here are 10 reasons why sending your ex a message is a bad idea and will not be good for you, for them, or anyone else for that matter. Save this article for later and come back to it in a moment of weakness.
1. It’s bad for your mental health
By doing this, you’re forcing yourself back into the past. It’s not really about how things ended between you - it’s about ripping the bandaid off over and over again. You’ve made such amazing progress so far, why would you undo all that hard work for a lukewarm interaction that may or may not go well?
2. You’re blocking yourself from meeting someone new
There are so many great people out there you haven’t met yet. Believe it or not, it could actually work out with the next person you meet. But how are you going to find out if you keep entertaining your past partner? Exactly. See, there’s no reason to do this.
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3. They’re better in your head than in reality
When the relationship is over, we remember the good parts: the romance, the intimacy, the gentle moments. We tend to forget that they really never got our jokes, were always late, hated cleaning, and all the other factors that annoyed you so much. You’re almost certain to be reminded of them if you keep interacting with the ex, though.
4. You seem needy
No one likes to be called needy, but we’re going to be transparent with you here. Even if you have all the reasons to reach out, it may still come off as desperate. Why would you lose respect in their eyes when you can just…not?
5. You're going to feel weak
Back to the previous point. Not only do you seem weaker than you are, you feel weaker, too. It’s like giving your power entirely to the other person, saying: “my mood for the rest of the week is going to depend on the tone of your reply and where our conversation goes!”. Good for a temporary fix, bad for your self-esteem and in the long run. Don’t do it.
6. They might be seeing someone
You never really know. And if they are seeing someone new, you’re inserting yourself into a situation that shouldn’t involve you. We understand that the thought of your ex seeing someone when you haven’t moved on yet is upsetting and painful, but it was ought to be either of you sooner or later, right? You’re separate now, so you do you, and let them do them.
7. They might show your text to that someone
And that’s probably the most effective point in this article. Just imagine them showing your “I miss you” text to their new fling and them both laughing about it - that scenario alone is enough to never, ever want to contact them again. So, go ahead and imagine that. Works like a charm.
8. You’re 99% likely to regret it
What exactly are you expecting from your conversation, really? Is it closure? Comfort? An attempt to make them jealous? An attempt to get them back? Once you’ve identified what it is you need from them, try to get that elsewhere. Because the chances of you getting satisfaction from your interaction are close to zero. We all have needs, and needs don’t necessarily have to be met in romantic partnerships. Try something else this time!
9. You don’t actually want them back
Tying back to the previous point, you don’t actually want them. They’re an ex for a reason. You want the need they were meeting, a desire they fulfilled, the feeling they gave you. And once again, all of the above isn’t something that can be exclusively achieved in a relationship. Friends, family, hobbies, work, meaningful and fulfilling ventures - all is there available 24/7 to you. Why not opt for something more stable?
10. Seriously, just go on Pure and find someone new
No Pure Journal article without mentioning Pure, and not because it’s our job. We just genuinely believe in the power of connection and fun with no expectations. You show up, you start communication, and watch the magic unfold. Where is your next Pure adventure going to take you? Anywhere, really - the sky is the limit. Definitely not to your ex's apartment, though. Thankfully.