5 tips for a successful hookup dating app experience
Looking for ways to improve your dating life? Wonderful things will happen to you if you follow simple principles. Know what you really want, be open-minded, show respect, give up expectations, and set clear goals. Here at Pure, we know for sure — this is a universal recipe for success.
Set a clear goal
When making an ad, try to do this: first, tell us what you are looking for, what you’re into, and what experiences you are ready for. Always make sure that your ad description matches your mood and goals here and now. Update it, if necessary, before your matching spree.
Tell your match about your interests or desires, and ask if they’re okay with everything that’s being said
Let's say you’re looking for ONS and BDSM format. When searching, use these rules:
- Filter the ad feed by these preferences. Do not waste your time on those who don’t seem to be looking for the same thing or just want to "talk first." Even if your new match agrees to join you on this new adventure, there is a high probability that they’ll flake at the last moment. You’ll get hurt, but that’s still far from the BDSM pain you’re looking to experience;
- Reset the filters and spend some time reading the ads. Sometimes, people do not add the Turn-Ons/preferences in their profile, but will hint that they’re curious about specific practices when writing an ad. We don’t wanna miss that!
- Let’s say you see an empty profile, they have a vague description, but you reallyyyy like their photo. Give it a try! Start a conversation respectfully: tell your match about your interests or desires, send a couple of photos of you (please keep nudes for later and only send them with your match’s consent), and ask if they’re okay with everything that’s being said and sent. There is no need to persuade: no means no! Try to put it all in one (!) message.
Pure tip: Forget asking "So what are you looking for?". Here’s something better and more effective: "You have beautiful photos, but I bet you’re even prettier in real life. We are a couple, and looking for someone to meet often (if all goes well). We love and know how to give pleasure, and we love to cuddle after. If that’s something you’re interested in, we’ll be happy to have a chat to see how this will develop. What do you think?"
Appropriate photos and videos
It is normal to be picky
If you’re looking for sex — make “spicy” photos and videos. If you want to remain anonymous, make sure that tattoos, your face, and other easily recognizable things do not get into the frame. You don’t need to add a lot of images to your profile — but you can send it in a chat with your match, once you’re comfortable and feel like it.
Pure tip: In Pure, you can send video and voice messages, and have all the video- and audio- calls you want
Don't give up after the first try
The more people you weed out, the faster you will find those who will be just perfect. It is normal to be picky. Don’t give up, and soon you’ll find someone just right!
If you feel like you can't stand it anymore, see how to cope with the dating burning-out
On the subject
- Data doesn’t lie: you will receive more likes and messages if you have more profile photos;
- Online dating has been found to make marriages more stable, according to Jose Ortega, a researcher from the British University of Essex;
- According to the American Pew Research Center, 1-in-3 people who use online dating have never actually met their matches in person.
Your online dating searches should occur no more than once a day
If you treat the search for a partner as a full-time job, a tedious routine, or "your last chance," nothing will work out. When the excitement of the search fades, and you are too lazy to go on a date, it’s time for you to take a break. Don't delete the app or your account just yet, you can hide your ad from the feed until you’re ready to be back.
Take advice from clinical psychologist and Washington Post columnist Jelena Kecmanovic:
“Select a period (15-10 minutes, or shorter) and pick a time of day when you can devote your full attention to the dating app. Your online dating searches should occur no more than once a day. That way, you can be fully present, and give each new potential partner an undivided attention and won’t get upset if there are no new matches.”
Everyone around me is crazy. What do I do?
Avoid accusations in your ad
Let’s not blame people for the fact that their interests do not match yours. And especially, don’t go ranting about it in your ad. Even if a potential match does not think you’re writing about them, toxic attacks are a 100% guarantee that you’ll stay alone. Think about it, do you know anyone turned on by "everyone sucks, and I’m awesome." These pickup lines might have worked for a Facebook post in 2013, but are too much for dating in 2023.